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I am a caregiver of someone with MS

Caregiver Profile – Lucie Quillicot, Laval, Quebec

Laval, Quebec
July 24, 2007

To my wife…

I am writing this letter to introduce my wife, Lucie Quillicot. We have been married for 30 years and are a close-knit, very loving couple.

In June 2002, I, Antonio Quillicot, at the age of 50, had my life turned upside down when I learned that I had the primary progressive form of multiple sclerosis. From that moment on, my wife Lucie has chosen to be my natural caregiver and support me in our life to come.

Doctors, magnetic resonance imaging, neurologists, specialists: we saw the whole panoply of modern medicine, and Lucie was always there at my side, always encouraging me.

Six months later, in January 2003, Lucie’s only sister learned at the age of 56 that she had Parkinson’s disease. Lucie looks after her sister sometimes, going to doctor’s appointments with her, like she did for me, with courage and goodness.

My health was deteriorating and Lucie suggested selling our home, which was very complicated to adapt, despite the memories we had there. Our two boys had to move into an apartment together. It was very difficult for us, but Lucie made me understand that we had to look to the future. We bought a condo and had it adapted for my needs. Lucie looked after all the details. Despite our sadness at leaving our home, she encouraged me and made me understand that we had made the right decision. After two years, I can say that it was a very good initiative and that now I am much freer to attend to my activities.

In the meantime, Lucie’s father became very ill, was hospitalized for over three months, and died. Despite her grief, Lucie now has to look after her mother, who is 90 years old. The doctors suggested placing her in a long-term care facility. Lucie arranged for a place near our home and that met her mother’s criteria. Even so, Lucie visits her several times a week. She does her laundry, her errands, her banking and has her over for supper several times a month.

As far as I am concerned, if Lucie had not been at my side, I would certainly have had more difficulty adapting to my condition. She always makes sure that we can do all kinds of activities together: restaurants with our friends, supper with our children, shopping centres, small trips, movies. She gets both our families together several times in our home because it is getting more difficult for me to visit them. She is determined that we should have an active social life. She makes lots of phone calls to find out about places that are wheelchair-accessible.

Every day, she looks after my personal care. Recently, I was very sick and had to be hospitalized; I had septicaemia, which paralyzed my bladder. The doctors suggested a long-term catheter, which would have restricted my activities, so Lucie learned to catheterize me three times a day. But she still remains optimistic and always makes me see the positive side of situations.

When the disease began, right away we got involved with the Laval MS Association. She drove me to all my activities. We participate in all the celebrations and do volunteer work for the Association.

Lucie has taken courses for natural caregivers given by the Laval MS Association. Lucie participates in the Super Cities Walk and got both our families and many friends involved. We have formed a team, the Quilli-Marcheurs. We have also attended the last three Espoir-Famille conferences where we have received a lot of helpful advice and information.

Lucie divides her time between her work as a legal freelancer, caring for me and her social life. She continues to maintain her friendships and go out.

Everyone who meets Lucie finds her smiling, pleasant, always good humoured, in a word, a totally fulfilled woman. And I am still at home with my loved ones, thanks to her. I love this woman with all my heart and to prove how grateful I am to her, I am giving her a trip to Paris next spring, with all my love.

Jean-François, Raphael and Evelyne, our children, and I, would like to thank her for keeping our family happy and together.

Submitted by Antonio Quillicot

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